Pressure and Stress

Two things I do to my self constantly.....why? It does nothing but hurt me, so why do I do it? Normally people feel stress and pressure from outside forces like your family, friends, school, work. For me I do it to myself. Example......tonight I went to practice for my juries which are tomorrow I sat down at the piano and called my dad just to chat for second. I just let it all out to him. Saying "Dad I am terrified of failing my Math final, I might have to retake sight singing I. I feel so behind, I want to graduate in 4 years but its not gonna happen. I don't want to let the family down. I want you to be proud of me, not disappointed. I don't want to fail." My dad through all of that said "Jessica calm down everything will be okay. I want you to enjoy college. You are getting to do something I never got to do, so enjoy yourself.  We won't be disappointed in you. Its okay if it takes you longer.  Sometimes you don't thing the first try, its okay to repeat something." I just got so worked up I almost cried so I just said "Thanks dad I love you" and hung up the phone because I didn't want my dad to hear me cry, cause I didn't want him to worry about me. I tried to calm down and I couldn't do it. I started stressing really bad. I called Gary and just said "Please help me calm down I feel so stressed right now I am so scared of failing." Of course he was like my dad a voice of reason saying "Jessica you'll be okay you are ready for your finals you'll be okay." After I cried I felt better, my body used a natural stress reliever which really helped except it messed up my make-up. I just have to figure out how to not put so much pressure on myself, I guess I have been this way my whole life, but I don't know where it came from, and I feel like it is really hurting me right now. I just wish it would go away. Well I am off to write a history paper and then bed so I can get a good night sleep before my juries tomorrow afternoon.