What do I have to do???Change?

Okay so I was hit with this I guess....revelation a few minutes ago after thinking about what was discussed last night. Last night I talked to my mom and we fixed everything with both of us taking our stress out on each other. But then something my mom said stuck with me " Jessica you are such a giving person and you just don't realize how much people take advantage of that." She is right I am a giver. I try to help everyone, because I know what it feels like to have someone turn their back on you when you need them. I don't want to be that person that does that to someone else. Gary agreed with my mom and said I need to learn to say no. This also brought about how at school....I don't really know who my true friends are anymore. I thought I did, but I guess I was wrong. It's like now that I am still at Mason and not at home all the time like everyone else I don't matter. That's a little harsh, but it's how I feel honestly right now. I am trying to find a balance trying to see through the areas of Gray but I can't and it scares me. I hate being used, but I also don't want to b a jaded person. I know who my true friends are at home and I talked to one of them, Kitty, about this a little bit already and tonight I will see her and maybe she will make me feel better. Whats wrong with me? I just feel like when I am at Mason the only person I can talk to is Gary, and I feel bad about that because I know he has other friends and other things he needs to do then to just spend time with me. I tried hanging out with someone and spending time with them but it just made things so complicated. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be at home, but I don't want to be at Mason. It's like I feel all alone in a crowded room as cheesy as that sounds. There are people who I want to call and go visit, but why should I if they haven't even tried to contact me or see me? It's like I am hitting a brick wall. This sounds so mean, but why should I waste my time even they don't even seem to want to see me. I know everyone is busy having jobs and seeing there family, but ugh whatevs I don't fucking care anymore I just give up. fuck it. I am going to AHS tonight to see Britt cheer and then I am going to workout maybe I will feel better after I run my body into the ground with the much needed work out.