Confusion

So I don't know if its because I am tired or because of the song I am listening to, but I am just hit with this lost confused feeling again. Though this a little different, then before. I am so confused in my "guy department" as weird as that sounds. I thought I had found someone, but they didn't want me, so I have settled on being their trusted friend. I still love them, and always will, but I want them to be happy, and that's all that matters.  I found out a good friend of mine at home who I have known for years has liked me for a long time, but decided to tell me now that I am away from home and about a year after I stopped liking him, cause I thought he was just a flirt. Then I have another guy friend at home who also likes me, who I am talking to but defiantly not rushing anything, because I am still getting to know him. There is also my ex who I am pretty wants to get back together, but knows better to ask. He always wants to hang out when I come home, and we are friends, honestly is that really necessary? I just can't see it when guys like me. I don't try I am just me. What do they want from me? From my past experience all they want is to sleep with me, well go as far as I am willing to let them and then run away from me to find something better. I guess I get boring or something...I dunno I am literally falling asleep as I write this so I am going to bed, but before I do here is the first song I have written in like a year. Its still a little rough, but I wrote it when I was really emotional and it made me feel so much better afterwards and that's all that matters.

I see you sitting here

Across from me

With that look 

In your eyes

Can't you see

I am trying so hard

To move on

Just let it all go

It's for the best 

you say

I'm just a girl

Who fell in love

What do I know

Anyway

We were so close

Yet so far apart

Do you even realize 

Where we are?

You say you're

Here for me

I  want so bad to believe

In everything

You say to me

But can't you see

I am trying so hard 

To move on

Just let it all go

Its for the best 

you say

I'm just a girl

Who fell in love

What do I know

Anyway

I didn't know

It would hurt 

This bad

Over something

I never truly had

Will I ever learn?

I am trying so hard

To move on

Just let all go

Does it show?

It's for the best

you say, but

That I am just a girl

Who fell in love

What do I know anyway

Oh what do I know

I just let my heart go

I should've known

Should've known